Al Fatihah..

It's been 10 months since he left us. This year is going to be the first year that I celebrate 'Raya' without him. And I know it is not going to be the same again..ever..

I still recall him not wanting to change into his 'baju melayu' and celebrate 'Raya' last year. Mom n I had to force him to change and practically had to drag him to 'salam Raya' n take photos on that morning. It was almost like he knew that he was leaving us. He said that he didn't want to celebrate 'Raya' and said that it was his last 'Raya'. Who would have thought that it was indeed his final 'Raya'..

Now he is with Him. He is in a better place. But he will always be here..he will always be a part of us..in our hearts..

A month before he was gone, he was already showing us signs. But we refused to see or believe them. We were too positive that he would be cured. He gave us a song for us to listen to. A song of someone leaving his loved ones. And again, we refused to listen to it. We even asked him to stop. We told him to be strong. He said, "I will fight but it is a losing battle. All odds are against me now..". And of course, we didn't take it seriously..

We're sorry, dad. So sorry that we didn't listen to you. So sorry that we didn't even give you the chance. So sorry that we were not even there with you when you left. There's nothing more devastating than to know that we were just a few steps away from you and not by your side when you left..

Life too hasn't been a crystal stair since you're gone. There are too many obstacles n difficulties that we are dealing with. But if it is given by Allah SWT for us to pray n remember Him more, for us to appreciate you even more, we are at peace on the judgement from You, Ya Allah..

I wish I had the chance to tell you that I love you..to utter those words when you looked at me for the last time before being moved to the ICU. Before we were left outside anxiously waiting. But it is too late now..still, I'm thankful to Allah SWT, for at least giving me the chance to put on your socks before you go to bed every night and to give you your medicine everyday and most of all, to give me the last most precious two weeks with you. I know I should've done more..I wish I could..

I miss you, dad. I promise that I'll take care of mom. She's the strongest person I know. I guess she must have been truly sad that you're not around this Ramadhan n Syawal but she still puts up a positive front in front of us. I love you both. Always will..

Dad..just because our eyes don't tear, doesn't mean our hearts don't cry. Just because we smile n laugh, doesn't mean we don't feel sad. Just because we celebrate with others, doesn't mean we don't grief your absence. Just because you are out of sight, doesn't mean you're out of mind. For you are always here by our side. In our hearts, in our minds. In our actions n most importantly, in our prayers. We miss you, dad! Al fatihah..

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Fav Quotes..

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."

"Reveal not every secret you have to a friend, for how can you tell but that friend may hereafter become an enemy. And bring not all mischief you are able to upon an enemy, for he may one day become your friend."

"Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart."

"The greatest personal limitation is to be found not in
the things you want to do and can't, but in the things
you've never considered doing."

Yea yea..

As I was doing my usual checks on other people's blog (or blog-stalking, appropriately ;P) I was mystified by the fact that every single blog I clicked on was talking about SPORTS or EXERCISING. And I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating, but I see those blogs are like laughing at me..smirking..And I think I even heard voices of their sneering laughs!!

I grabbed my handphone and started to text Fafa, my friend who is together with me in this mission (of trying to lose weight by doing nothing) and said to her that we need to get back on track..*wait, which track? Whatever..Those blogs are like mocking me for not keeping my promises of exercising at least 3 times a week. But anyways, Fafa and I sorta made plans for next week. Prolly squash (with our own rules-hit the ball n wait for it to come to us), jog (followed by my regular routine of Nasi Kandar), bowling or gym. Whichever..as long this guilty conscience is gone!

Ok, I heard u already! Stop mocking me. No more blog-stalking for today. It's haunted.

Gossips

It is wat people do not bcos they get paid to do it, but prolly bcos they wanna feel good bout themselves. Dats why they talked bout others - to hide d ugly side of themselves. My opinion, gossiping can be wicked when u tend to go overboard talking bout people which u dun even know whether wat ur talking about are real facts or just exaggerations from ur cruel imaginations. U might think dat ur just 'having fun' n laughing at other peoples expense. U might think it can't turn bad but wat u actually did was slowly ruining d person's life. Without u even realizing it. It's not entirely ur fault dat u can't think of the consequences it might bring to d person, but u could at least think, wat if d story ur telling ain't d truth?

Its effing hard not to gossip n not to slander. Yup..it's damn tempting! Its like a guilty pleasure, rite? But wat I always try to remind myself is not to go overboard, cos life is like a wheel. U might be on top of d world today..but tomorrow? Will u still be there?

"U can talk about others..just dun be surprise if d same thing happen to u..prolly different situation..but almost d same thing.. :) "

"Those who gossip have little to do, or make out as if they are more than perfect.."

HaaacHoOoOmmmm..

erkk..excuse me!

Huhu..that was me sneezing. I can feel the flu coming on in a high speed motion. It has been a while since I got one. Wonder what went wrong? Was it my eating habits? Or lack of exercise? Yes, i admit, I was on a lazy-mode lately. But hey, it wasn't just me ok? It was the rain, the excessive sleepiness, the deep desire of needing food all the time in bracket, ALWAYS hungry :P and all other lame EXCUSES..Orrrr was it just because of LAZINESS? Whoteva..

Being the fact that I slightly resemble a koala bear right now, therefore, there won't be any photo-uploading this time. Hope me gonna be OK tomowwow. Boo hoo :(

A Letter To My Necklace..(yes,i'm feeling just fine :p)

Dear Necklace,




Thank you for being MINE!
I love U very very much!!




From,
Your Owner.